Guns and Garters
"Truly D!"


Lots of people want to know about my middle name.  The thing is, my middle name changes from day to day.  Sum days, when I'm feelin' partickularly frisky, my middle name is Delightful.  Then there are days when theres a dark cloud a-hangin' over me and my middle name is Dangerous.  Sum other days I might feel like doin' somthin' agin the law and then my name is Dastardly.  On those days that my middle name is Deadly youse best just stay far away!

I wuz born in Canada to a rancher.  I grew up learnin' how to ride, rope, and shoot.  My Ma and Pa knew the world wuz a dangerous place fer wimmen and wanted me to be prepared. 

When I became of courtin' age I found out there weren't no suitable men anywheres near where I lived.  They wuz all bucktoothed, or bow-legged, or daft, or already taken.  When I told my folks I wuz leavin' fer southern territories they wuz upset.  They tried to keep me from
goin'.  They wouldn't let me take one of the horses so I did what any cowgirl would do.  I rode off on a cow.

Bossie and I probably shouldn't a' left in the middle of winter.  'Tween the snow and wind we almost dun froze to death.  Turns out we wuz somewheres in Montana when poor old Bossie ran headlong into the broad side of a barn.  We took shelter inside.

After that blizzard died down I smelled somethin' driftin' through the air.  It was a smell I ain't never dun smell before.  It was tantalizing.  I followed my nose out of the barn and picked up a trail.  I followed my nose along the trail until I came to a log pile.  There, choppin' logs, wuz what I had tracked.  IT WUZ A MAN!  He warn't bucktoothed nor daft.  He wuz HANDSUM!  I couldn't help but to start to giggle.

He turned around and saw me.  Then he said, "You are Truly Delightful!"  I asked him how he knew who I wuz.  He told me he didn't know me and asked me fer my name.  It wuz then I realized he was a little daft, but a little daft is better than out-and-out looney!

Frum that day forward my darlin' and I have been in love.  We ended up gettin' married and tried darn hard to keep that ranch runnin'.  I just plain got tired and wanted to see more of the country.

 He told me heard talk about how wonderful Wichita, Kansas wuz.  Listenin' to him I began to believe that the buildings were made of pearls and the people dressed in silk.  I couldn't wait to git there.  We sold the ranch and headed south.

When we got off the stage I thought we wuz lost somewheres.  There wuz a tradin' post and nuthin' else but weeds and dirt.  When I saw a sign sayin' "Wichita" I couldn't speak but one word.  Alls I could say wuz, "Wichita?"

We didn't stay there long.  We headed west fer California, the farthest away from Wichita we could get.  When we got there we lived in a fine house and had a passel o' kids.  Fortunately none of the kids inherited any of Wichita's daffyness.  I don't want to tell you no more cuz there's stuff I dun after that ain't none of yer bizness.
Kelly Costello is married to Wichita (Bart Costello) in real life.  They have 4 kids and 3 grand kids.  They also have 2 horses, 2 goats, 4 dogs, and 1 big fat lazy cat.  Kelly loves riding her horse, gardening, doing crafts, and sewing.  She makes most of her own dresses, parasols, and hats.





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